family christmas at the farm

Last night we continued our Christmas fun with a trip back to Duane and Nancy’s for an evening with Mom’s side of the family. Duane made tacos (good and spicy…), we had a gift exchange, played with babies, had tea, did a little hunting in the pickup, sat by a roasting fire and watched the stars. I love my family!

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to smell like a puppy

bailey

I really like having a dog. She’s been so much fun. Drew’s got her pretty well trained already, and she’s picking new stuff up all the time. She likes to run around, but she’ll also come and just sit next to you (or on you, preferably) and happily chew on sticks and other exciting finds.

One of the down sides to having a dog, though, is that if you spend a lot of time with a puppy you end up smelling like a puppy. And it only works one way. So far nobody’s gone outside and said, “Wow, Bailey. You’ve been hanging out with Jaime, haven’t you?” but when I come inside, even I notice that I’m still carrying around a little Bailey.

What a price to pay, though. All that fun and all that puppy, and the worst part of it is a little after-smell. It makes me think about all the other little things I carry around in life, all the little annoyances and the little “stinks” from certain situations and even sometimes from some relationships. But when I think about all the good things behind all the minor inconveniences and consider all the upsides… What a price to pay. It’s really not that bad. Not bad at all.

All that stuff is only about as bad as… smelling like a puppy. So totally worth it.

christmas at the farm

Rooibus and marzipan tea. And the cornbread batter bowl. (Mom knows what I like!)

Yesterday Kari drove in, then we all drove out and went to Duane and Nancy’s for a cookout. Duane pulled out his awesome half-propane-tank fire pit and we grilled hot dogs and marshmallows and talked and laughed and just enjoyed the evening. The stars even eventually came out.

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my awesome dad

Seriously. What girl gets a dad who walks past the room where she’s reading then turns around and comes back, gives her a big hug and says, “Because I can!!” and then offers to go and fix her a cup of tea. And then does.

I do!

home for the holidays

Made it in about 2am. The trip was uneventful and relatively short. Just a short ride to the airport (thank you, Jennifer!), a quick jump to Helsinki, a hop to London, and then nine hours over the Atlantic and North America and I was in Texas. Mom and Geoff and Stephany met me, we sat and talked a while, then Stephany headed north and we headed south to hear George Guzzardo speak. Jared came with us and I was jet-lagging so we had way too much fun.

Slept a little on the way home. Talked with Mom and Geoff. Good stuff. Got home and Dad and Kaci were still up so I got lots of hugs right away. The puppy, Bailey, got up to say hello, too. She’s fuzzy still, like a little brown Roger.

Slept a few hours and am up and around again! There’s Christmas music playing. The boys don’t have school so they had time to sit and listen to Kaci read the Hobbit aloud. I joined in.

Played outside with Bailey for a while. Now I’m back inside with a cup of tea, trying to figure out what this feeling is. It’s something like safe.

So nice to be home.

somebody knows

Had a great Sunday. Had no idea what I was doing for class until about lunch time, but I stumbled across something to share and ended up having a lot of fun with it.

Nikolai drove down from Tallinn for the worship hour and was gracious and kind, as always. So grateful for him and all the work he does and for everything that their whole family does behind the scenes that none of us really ever see.

After pizza and piparkoogid at the building a group of us went to the square to hear Janno read the fairy tale, then we came back to my place and spent a few hours just hanging out. There was glöggi and chai and tea and cocoa and we played games and talked. I have a missionary friend who says that God really puts different places on different people’s hearts, and, well… I guess I know mine.

Wrote a little song the other day. I was thinking about how if things had been just a little different I could be in the Czech Republic, or anyplace else for that matter, and that life could be a lot different. It would be good too, another kind of good. But I’m grateful for the kind of good that I have.

somebody knows

I often wonder why
You’re here where you are
And not somewhere so far away

And I think about how I
Happen to be here
With you and not some other place

It seems there must be
Something more to what we see

Somebody knew
I would need you
I would need you

Somebody knows
Where we’re supposed to go
Where we’re supposed to go

Somebody knows…

Time, funny how it spins
Puzzles in the winds
Blowing all the pieces of our lives

But then, funny how time mends
Strangers into friends
And that is what I’m thankful for tonight

So see, there’s nowhere else better for you or me
Believe that here is where we’re all supposed to be

christmas party

I posted the serious group photo from tonight on facebook, but I can’t help but put this one here. Tõnis’ face!

Today was so long, but it was so good. Merlin said that we broke the record for number of people at a church Christmas party tonight with 21. We were expecting 15, but even so there were leftover potatoes, so no one went hungry. The food was good (especially the Christmas keks that Merlin’s mom made for us), the company was good, and there were so many games and things to do that a lot of people stayed until after 10.

To get a gift we had to perform something, so Iiris and I sang two songs — The Twelve Days of Christmas and I’m Gettin’ Nuttin’ For Christmas. I thought our “Fiiiiiiive goooooolden riiiiings…” was especially well done. haha

All in all it was a super-duper evening. Many thanks to everyone who pitched in and made it all happen!

Häid Jõule!!

otepää

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Evelin and I got out of town and went to Otepää for a couple of days. Stayed at Pühajärve and really enjoyed the time there. It was nice to be away and hole up for a little while, especially in the middle of all the Christmas craziness.

More Christmas craziness is coming. Funny how this could be the most peaceful time of year… if we really wanted it to be. Today is sure beautiful, though. It’s snowing!

as the day…

… so is my strength.

I went for my run. Got up Riia mnt. almost to the park near the psychiatric hospital when my stomach decided it did not like me, so I stopped. Found a bench and rested till all was better, walked up to the cross walk, crossed the street and then ran all the way back home, feeling good again. It sure must have helped that the way back was as downhill as the way up had been, well, uphill.

It made me think, really, that that’s just life. Some of these times are uphill climbs. And sometimes I just need to stop, just for a little while, until I can go again. Stopping when I can’t go on doesn’t mean that I quit forever, stopping for a while to rest helps me keep going forever.

After I got home, Sirli and Katrina came by and hung out while I rushed around and got ready to head to the square. It was Merlin’s turn to read a fairy tale, and she did a great job. Hers was the best I’d seen so far — you could see that she was really into what she was reading and she pulled everyone else into the story too.

It was nice to be there as part of her fan club with Merlin’s mom, Talis, Sirli, Katrina, Riina, Anni… It’s just good to have friends.

Sirli and Katrina came back to my place for a bit to wait until Book Club. I blow dried my hair then wolfed down a bowl of ramen while trying to help Katrina with some Russian homework. Ha.

Shakespeare cafe was all reserved this evening, so we ended up coming back to my place for our final Book Club meeting of the season. It turned out nicely. We had green chai and chocolate, finished the last five chapters of our book and then all took the “Are You A Complainer?” assessment test and discussed our results. For the last hour we played a game of Must Notsu (like Old Maid) and then sat around and talked. It was homey; laid back.

And now it’s all quiet again. Ready for a new day tomorrow. Grateful for this one that’s been.

jennifer

Found out this morning that a friend of ours, a great lady named Jennifer, passed away. She was the wife of one of the military guys that worked in Tallinn a few years ago that came to church with us. His family came and stayed several weeks with him while he was posted there and we got to spend some time with them at different things. I even babysat their kids one night while Joe and Jennifer hung out with Dad and Mom. And the kids were awesome — Stephany and I still talk about them, especially Nate. But I really had fun with the oldest girls, too. They’re the coolest family. A real family.

I’ve kept up with them here and there for the past few years, was friends with Jennifer on facebook, got their family newsletter and read the blog that Jennifer and the girls kept from time to time. Last year they moved to Tajikistan. But yeah, I still think about them. I admire them a lot.

So to find out this morning that Jennifer died recently is just, I don’t know. I’m so sad. And it was too sudden — she had their eighth baby on November 26th, went back for an emergency surgery on the 30th and died at the hospital. Joe and the kids are back in the States now. Jennifer’s funeral was on Thursday.

There’s no one to talk to. Everybody in the States is still sleeping; there’s no one here to call and tell. This is when it’s hard to be alone. Think I’ll go for a run.

All the snowflakes falling down
You don’t feel them any more
When the season turned around
I lost and you found Heaven’s door

Life to life, no way to answers
Can’t hold back the tears that fall
Inside my heart, don’t know at all
How we all go from life to life
So quietly, so small

If there’s a God who knows the answers
If there’s a way to find the way I seek
Open my eyes to understand
Or calm the waves of grief

Life to life, no way to answers
Can’t hold back the tears that fall
Inside my heart, don’t know at all
How we all go from life to life
So quietly, so small

Inside my heart, don’t know at all
How we all go from life to life
So quietly, so small

But I will keep my hopes alive
And I will still believe
That there’s a God who knows the answers
And a way from life to life I seek…