choosing to change

Zach and I went and did a little driving this evening before supper. I determined to not let a little clutch pedal beat me, and I did much better the second time around.

It’s strange to feel like a new driver when I’ve been driving for years. It’s frustrating. I think it’s so hard because what I’m wanting to be able to do I’ve already been doing for a long time.

I want to be able to get in the car and go where I want to go. But I’ve already earned that. I’ve already gone through this process and been successful. I’ve already done the work. But now things are different; the game has changed. Now if I want that freedom I have to learn how to drive a different kind of car.

Life itself is changing, too. Times are changing. People everywhere are pretty frustrated because we’re looking around and seeing our freedoms being lost. We can’t get where we want to go any more, because the vehicles we’ve always used to earn our freedoms are breaking down and something else is here. Now we have a brand new world to learn.

If I let a clutch pedal beat me, I’ll be stuck. I can give up and stay home, but I won’t be free. I won’t win in life. And if we hold on to the way we’ve always lived, we’ll be stuck. We can leave the changing world to others and stay comfortable where we’re at, but our comfort won’t last long, and ultimately we won’t win.

It’s been said that change is the only constant in life and that you can either “hate change so much that you’re willing to lose, or hate losing so much that you’re willing to change.”

I choose to learn. I choose to change. I might kill the car a few times, but a clutch pedal won’t beat me. And learning how to be a good steward of God’s gifts in the world I’ve been given might feel awkward and different from what I ever learned before, but I will do the work and learn again.

Because… I want to be free. And I can choose to change.